Zaffer's battle 2 years ago (CT scan day)

[PlaxMacaws]

Two years ago today, Zaffer went in for his long-awaited full-body CT scan. It was such a hard and frightening day for him (and me). I certainly had hope, but I somehow knew he was edging closer to his final day. I made the following video while we were in the examining room awaiting the procedure.


I miss you so much, my sweet blue boy

[Dragonlady2]

Hard to believe it’s been 2 years. We lost our favourite cat this past summer. He was feral when we trapped him, but he turned out to be a big teddy bear. I can identify with you somewhat with regard to reliving/not able to let go. At times, it feels like I am back during that time and I suspect you do as well. Our animal companions can sure leave a hole in our hearts.

Take care.

[PlaxMacaws]

Indeed. Losing a dear companion can be quite heart-crushing. My loss of Zaf has certainly produced a chronic devastation in my life. I find that my days are consumed by ponderings of our time together. It feels as if he were here with me only yesterday... yet, at the same time, it seems so long ago. Some things that trigger my deep bouts of depression about him are listening to music, viewing his photos or videos, and looking at/touching his feathers. But I need those things in my life and I somehow need to continue grieving for him. It's a harsh element of my life now.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat, Helena. Loss of a cherished friend places us on a difficult path

[PlaxMacaws]

Zaffer's final days were filled with immense stress. His greatest fears involved veterinary facilities, clinical personnel, and most of all, the horrifying medical procedures he endured. When someone attempts to comfort me by suggesting Zaf somehow knew the truth, i.e., that he was being repeatedly shuttled to those clinical environments at which he would be consistently forced to undergo a multitude of terrifying treatments and diagnostic processes as part of a strident effort to save his life, they are sorely mistaken. Zaf was terrified and those procedures took such a tremendous toll on him. While he was a smart bird, he only knew he was feeling terribly sick while being forced to face frightening and torturous situations over and over. I should have refrained from those final clinical efforts. Since he was going to lose his battle anyway, I should have comforted him at home through his remaining time. I should have allowed him as much peace as possible, thus preserving his strength for much longer (as opposed to forcing its rapid depletion). I could have taken him in for the final process at the right time. That would have made his last weeks so much calmer and I know we would have shared more treasured quality time together