Zaffer's final days were filled with immense stress. His greatest fears involved veterinary facilities, clinical personnel, and most of all, the horrifying medical procedures he endured. When someone attempts to comfort me by suggesting Zaf somehow knew the truth, i.e., that he was being repeatedly shuttled to those clinical environments at which he would be consistently forced to undergo a multitude of terrifying treatments and diagnostic processes as part of a strident effort to save his life, they are sorely mistaken. Zaf was terrified and those procedures took such a tremendous toll on him. While he was a smart bird, he only knew he was feeling terribly sick while being forced to face frightening and torturous situations over and over. I should have refrained from those final clinical efforts. Since he was going to lose his battle anyway, I should have comforted him at home through his remaining time. I should have allowed him as much peace as possible, thus preserving his strength for much longer (as opposed to forcing its rapid depletion). I could have taken him in for the final process at the right time. That would have made his last weeks so much calmer and I know we would have shared more treasured quality time together
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