It actually happened two months ago but every time I tried to post it on this forum or another I'd make it ten words then backspace. Even now my fingers are still shaking.
His name was Captain, a cinnamon cockatiel. My first bird. I was 12. I remember watching all the cockatiels, they weren't tame so were flapping to get away from me. Captain, among them perched at a distance watching me not fearfully but curiously with his round eyes.
I remember clutching the white box fidgeting in my seat impatient to get home and see him. When we arrived him I opened the box and he hopped into his cage. White spotless horizontal bars, a white swing, a little basketball, a ladder with beads and a bell. I watched him quietly glaring at my little sister who was 8 to be quiet.
I began to sing to him and he would watch me.
I left him alone to settle down for a day before opening the cage and letting him out of the stand. I scared of his bite but offered him my hand. He hopped on immediately pushing his yellow head between my fingers.
He was amazing. He would ride on my shoulder outside and together we would listen to the wild birds. I remember once I was cleaning his cage out in the front yard and Captain was in the garage. I saw a flash of grey streak past me towards the garage. A cat. Without thinking i ran to the garage and to my horror the cat was about to pounce on Captain was trying to get away. I hurled myself in front of Captain and was rewarded with claws in my arm. I shouted and the cat ran off and the funny thing was Captain landed on my shoulder and hissed after the bolting cat as if he were saying "thats right! Run!"
Captain always knew when I was upset and would make this crooning noise and preen my hair, he would hang out on my head when I did homework and ate with me. He was perfect.
Once He fell terribly ill and my parents said that he would be okay without the vet. But i knew birds better then they did and knew Captain would die. I was crying and pleading. Until I could no longer watch Captain suffer. I packed him into a warm travel cage with food and water and heat pads etc and walked to the door. My parents asked me "Where are you going?" I replied my voice cracking. "im walking to the vet." And so I went. Well not really because my parents stopped me and drove me in the end. They realise now just how important my birds are to me. He got treated ad became the healthy cheeky tiel i knew
I began working round the neighbourhood and doing chores to earn money and every cent went to Captains enrichment and wellbeing, i didnt care that instead I could have got the latest iphone, no i cared about Captain.
I remember before I went to bed Captain was on my shoulder, i was about to put him to bed and he spoke. He said something loud and clear in my ear. "I love you."
And then it happened a week before my 13 birthday this year. I woke up and my little sister ran into my room wide eyed. "Captain is gone!" I replied with "Haha Jessie his probably on the curtain top." My little sister shook her head, she wasnt smiling. An icy feeling of dread crept up my spine. I ran to his cage and froze. My mum was looking at me sadly. The tears came of course and after I felt like I cried all my tears. I couldnt look. The next two days I remembering feeling hollow, distant to everything, i didnt talk didnt cry. The only reason why I forced myself to pull it all together was my budgie who was grieving, she needed me. My sister after three days whispered to me "I heard him say it." I knew what she was talking about.
As for the white spotless horizontal bar cage with a white swing, a small basketball, a ladder with beads and a bell. Its in the shed gathering dust, hopefully I'll never see it again.