I'm being "Trolled" by an evil creepy spider!

[Mr Peepers]

There is a spider in my kitchen, its big and nasty and it lives under a cupboards where nobody could get it unless they tore up the kitchen cupboards. Its a perfect safe zone for this beastly bug who likes to pop out every once in a while and dangle on a web line and show me its not afraid of me.

I usually see it late in the evening when there is no more cleaning or cooking noise in the kitchen and all is quiet for the night. I don't use pesticides in the house because of the birds so the nasty spider is free to roam and stake out a larger territory while I'd prefer to see it living out its life outside the house or in reality I'd like it to be DEAD.

I'm sure there are egg sacks of baby spiders all over the bottom of the cabinets ready to hatch and invade my mouth and ears and nostrils while I sleep. I shudder thinking of this. :th_eek:

Today the spider decided to troll me during the day light hours (which is rare) I was making a cup of coffee and glanced down to see evil spider dangling down below the cupboard doors spinning around silently spidey laughing at me while I thought about getting a tea towel winding it up and smacking that evil spider into oblivion.

It must have seen me quietly reaching for the tea towel, when I turned around with the towel the evil troll spider had quietly and quickly snuck away back into its safe lair.


I WANT THIS SPIDER TO DIE!

[PeachyDoll]

OMG I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that I heard recently that we consume 8 spiders in our lifetime as we sleep

Is that the epitome of creepiness?

[Mr Peepers]

OMG I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that I heard recently that we consume 8 spiders in our lifetime as we sleep

Is that the epitome of creepiness?



I read that number of edible spiders was higher.......... but thanks for reminding me I snack on 8 legged baby sack making spiders while I am dreaming of something else.

:th_eek:

YUCK GROSS!

[PeachyDoll]

Makes me want to sleep with the mosquito net again.

Is there a room that you can put the birds in and towel off the door then open the cupboard give a few quick shots and close and hope for the best? Then open up the windows to dissipate the smell after a 1/2 hour?

[Mr Peepers]

Not a bad idea but I can't spray anything with my Aunt here and her being ill. I drizzled some glass plus window cleaner around the cupboard area but that hasn't killed the darn super spider yet. I think its giving him super powers and making him more durable and stronger. He is plotting to kill me in my sleep! I KNOW IT. :'(

[PeachyDoll]

That's right I forgot. Do you have any food grade diatamaceous earth?

[Mr Peepers]

That's right I forgot. Do you have an y food grade diatamaceous earth?


Nope.


I think I will stake out the kitchen tonight with the vacuum set up where he shows his evil spidey face and maybe get the chance to suck him up. I clean out webs in that corner of the kitchen every other night and am just amazed to see the pile of webs that are there again in a day.

This spidey keeps busy weaving its webs.

[Lady]

E[Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks] what about keeping a small spray bottle of water and vinegar on hand and spray that. You could even spray it where it nests.

[Zoo mom]

A[Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks] it's baby spider man. Bwahahaha.

[PlaxMacaws]

Perhaps it's looking for a banana to crawl into ;)

[Macaw Lover]

You aren't going to like this - but, I have coded a lot of charts that people have come into the ER to have a roach removed from the ear.

I can't imagine living somewhere with that many roaches in the house, eeks!

[Mare]

Ok, that is REALLY GROSS, Renee!! When I was 18yrs. old, I lived near Palm Springs, CA, fresh out of high school attending a JC and had my first place on my own. This ratty apartment was INFESTED with roaches! When you started talking about the spider..my memories went right back to the apartment with a HUMONGOUS roach (the roaches in the desert can get to 4 inches long) that would crawl out from behind the bathroom mirror at night, I would see it when I flicked on the light at night :th_eek:

Mr. Peeps, do you know what kind of spider you are dealing with?

[PlaxMacaws]

OMG I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that I heard recently that we consume 8 spiders in our lifetime as we sleep

Is that the epitome of creepiness?

The FDA allows a certain percentage of insect/arachnid parts in our food items and will not act upon their presence unless the amount exceeds a certain level. Have a look at the table from the URL below (note the frequency and amount of maggots permitted)...

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[Mr Peepers]

Perhaps it's looking for a banana to crawl into ;)


:th_dance4: :th_LOL: no nanners here! :th_biggrin:

[Mr Peepers]

You aren't going to like this - but, I have coded a lot of charts that people have come into the ER to have a roach removed from the ear.

I can't imagine living somewhere with that many roaches in the house, eeks!



That would be hellish to deal with. No roaches here, just one smart alec spider that is testing my hunting skills. :th_biggrin:

[Mr Peepers]

Ok, that is REALLY GROSS, Renee!! When I was 18yrs. old, I lived near Palm Springs, CA, fresh out of high school attending a JC and had my first place on my own. This ratty apartment was INFESTED with roaches! When you started talking about the spider..my memories went right back to the apartment with a HUMONGOUS roach (the roaches in the desert can get to 4 inches long) that would crawl out from behind the bathroom mirror at night, I would see it when I flicked on the light at night :th_eek:

Mr. Peeps, do you know what kind of spider you are dealing with?


It seems to be a common house spider, I don't like it because its about the size of a pea.

That's too big for me! :th_biggrin:



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There is a door that meets the wall and cupboard where the evil beast is hiding/living/trolling me so he's getting a bunch of jumping spiders and a couple of ants to keep him spinning and filling his webs that I vacuum away pretty much every day.

House spiders don't live well in a home if there is not a good source of food for them bug wise, they do better outside in garages...... so this means my cupboard where he lives is perfect garage temperature. :th_biggrin:

[PeachyDoll]

Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout
He lives in your drain and you can't get him out
As everyday passes he grows nice and stout
You better be nice to him cuz he's plotting evil no doubt

It's fun if you sing it, please feel free to add lines to Mr Peepers theme song

[Mr Peepers]

Late last night when I stumbled in Mr Spidey was spinning in casual circles and staring at me. I was a little drunkish and instantly got angry at his silent taunts. I managed to pull a tea towel close while I quietly sneakily spun it in circles making it into a rope type weapon.... I smacked at Mr Spidey and missed so of course he scrambled up under the cupboard into his lair of evil deeds.

In the anger of missing him on the first strike I kept hitting the lower cupboard hoping I snapped the tea towel under the lip and maybe got him. I didn't see him for the rest of the night and he's a no show today (which is okay cause I don't wanna see him)

If I did manage to hit him and he got away with some injuries, he might be lying in his lair plotting how to mess with me and really make me sorry for such a brazen attack on his body last night. :th_biggrin:

[Casper's 2nd best friend]

What is it that makes us humans so nervous about these little critters? There is only one type of spider in the UK with a nasty bite and its not the big ones that run around in hob-nailed boots. But the big ones are spooky and I always pick my feet up as they run across the living room floor. Margaret is braver and will pick them up and put them in the garden explaining to them that fresh air is good for you.

[Mr Peepers]

What is it that makes us humans so nervous about these little critters? There is only one type of spider in the UK with a nasty bite and its not the big ones that run around in hob-nailed boots. But the big ones are spooky and I always pick my feet up as they run across the living room floor. Margaret is braver and will pick them up and put them in the garden explaining to them that fresh air is good for you.


I'd like to suck Mr Spidey up in a vacuum and then shoot him out of the vacuum with the reverse option out into our yard, but I think Mr Spidey likes where he lives and will only come walking quickly back here with his 8 long legs and make home in the spidey lair again.

Did I mention my stalking Mr Spidey has lived in this under cupboard area for 2 years since I've moved in this house? He knows when he's got a good deal going. :th_biggrin:

[Robyn]

Peppermint oil. Those demons hate peppermint oil

[Zoo mom]

If he/she has been there for 2 years you have officially adopted him and now you need to give him a name.

I propose Tarzan.

[Mare]

He definitely needs a name!

[Zoo mom]

Charlotte would be a good name also. But off course this could be your grandspider child.

[Casper's 2nd best friend]

Big spiders in our cottage are generically called George for reasons that have been long ago forgotten. I did think about making a couple of tiny skateboards for those that get stuck in the bath, they could practice their half-pipes instead of moping about looking bored.

[Mr Peepers]

If he/she has been there for 2 years you have officially adopted him and now you need to give him a name.

I propose Tarzan.


He definitely needs a name!


The evil spider has been named Mr Spidey. I know I know not very original but my nephews insist its a good name.

[Mr Peepers]

Big spiders in our cottage are generically called George for reasons that have been long ago forgotten. I did think about making a couple of tiny skateboards for those that get stuck in the bath, they could practice their half-pipes instead of moping about looking bored.


I would be so miffed if I heard tiny skateboards zooming back and forth in the claw foot tub in the middle of the night, complete with the spiders yelling "WHOOO DUDE THAT WAS GNARLY!''

The shower would be on in a second and it would be game over........ lets see them do some awesome swimming with all those legs they have! :th_biggrin:

[Mr Peepers]

I think I have wounded Mr Spidey. I haven't seen a glimpse of him at all in the wee hours of the night when I get up for drinks or need of the loo.

I am scared he is using weights to physio rehab himself and is planning to come get me when I least expect it. :th_eek:


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So now I know how this came about, some farmer sitting on his front porch was watching a spider spin a web around its victim and thought......... "hmmmm what if I had a machine that would wrap a giant condom around my big bales of round hay?"

VOILA!

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[Casper's 2nd best friend]

That is brilliant!

[Mr Peepers]

That is brilliant!


I love seeing all the new fangled machinery the farmers have now to maintain their farms, then I drive by a Mennonite community and see them all tending their crops out in the hot sun with hoes and shovels and shake my head in wonder.

[plax]

So now I know how this came about, some farmer sitting on his front porch was watching a spider spin a web around its victim and thought......... "hmmmm what if I had a machine that would wrap a giant condom around my big bales of round hay?"

VOILA!Nice theory. But should the topic ever arise, please refrain from explaining here how you might guess the Pocket Hose was developed ;)

[Mr Peepers]

I have vacuumed the spider webs away yesterday and will wait and see if Mr Spidey makes any more when I'm not looking. I haven't seen him since Friday nights frantic angry tea towel attack I raged at him. He might be d e a d. :th_wink:




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[Zoo mom]

Good doggy.

[Mr Peepers]

I was dreaming of my girlfriend last night.............. not a pleasant dream. :th_wink:


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[Zoo mom]

I was dreaming of my girlfriend last night.............. not a pleasant dream. :th_wink:


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Eeeee[Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks]

[Zoo mom]

I don't mind spiders but I don't want one crawling in my bra. That gives me the creepy crawlies.

[Mr Peepers]

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[Mr Peepers]

I will never ever ever buy bananas again.


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[Zoo mom]

I will never ever ever buy bananas again.


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Well you don't like dancing bananas anyway.

[Mr Peepers]

Well you don't like dancing bananas anyway.

This is very true! :th_biggrin:

[Mr Peepers]

I think Mr Spidey has moved/relocated.

Last friday night I did some ninja like smack down strikes with a rolled up tea towel and I'm not quite sure if I wounded or killed him as I don't see him anymore. It's been a week and nothing.

I was walking over to a doorway leading into the laundry room a short distance away from the cupboard/kitchen area where Mr Spidey use to dwell. I opened the door then quickly closed it again as I noticed something near the lowest hinge of the door it was a spiders web and it had some inhabitants rolled up like marinating spidey burritos. The web was empty of any spiders but the web also led to a tall coat cupboard. OH OH.

When I hit Mr Spidey with the tea towel last friday the direction he would have gone was at that particular doorway and coat cupboard. What if I sent Mr Spidey flying and he landed rolled and ran scurrying on his 8 little legs behind the cupboard and moved in there????? It's a quieter space lots of room and I don't hang out in that area of the house where I am always using the kitchen or the doors leading from the kitchen to the outside decks.

I think Mr Spidey is now trolling me at a new location. I shouldn't complain he's got some BIG Spidey Burrito's there in the webs. He's doing me a favor keeping those other creepy crawlies from invading my ears or having me swallow them in my sleep. :th_biggrin:

[PeachyDoll]

Seems like you might be missing Spidey. Should I send you a big hairy tarantula?

This thread has legs.........

[Mr Peepers]

Seems like you might be missing Spidey. Should I send you a big hairy tarantula?

This thread has legs.........


ah................ no thanks :th_biggrin:

[Lady]

Well I hope for the sake of all involved that Mr. Spidey stays far away and continues to keep all the other creepy crawly critters wrapped up and set aside for his later enjoyment.

[Mr Peepers]

I am now convinced my evil tea towel attack on Mr Spidey resulted in his demise. I'm sorry my Mr Spidey you poor creepy 8 legged gloating freak of nature.

At least I didn't have to do this to you.............


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[PeachyDoll]

Uh Oh!!!!


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[Mr Peepers]

Uh Oh!!!!


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QUIT POSTING MY PERSONAL POSTS AND DETAILS ON THE FORUM!


:th_biggrin:

[PeachyDoll]

Have you heard about the old urban legend about the throbbing cactus? I remember hearing about it when I was like 9, 10 years old.

One of the versions is a family notices a cactus throbbing and calls a plant store, where they tell the family to immediately get the cactus in a garbage bag and knot it shut. That it is likely a tarantula nesting ground. Eeeewww exploding baby tarantulas all over your houses. Check out other similar stories at snopes.com

That's my nice bed time story for tonight.

[Mr Peepers]

Have you heard about the old urban legend about the throbbing cactus? I remember hearing about it when I was like 9, 10 years old.

One of the versions is a family notices a cactus throbbing and calls a plant store, where they tell the family to immediately get the cactus in a garbage bag and knot it shut. That it is likely a tarantula nesting ground. Eeeewww exploding baby tarantulas all over your houses. Check out other similar stories at snopes.com

That's my nice bed time story for tonight.


I just torched all my cactus plants outside in the yard........ now I will search the house with my flame thrower.

Thanks PD. THANKS A LOT!

[PeachyDoll]

I am LOL'ing at your response and Rosie broke out into her maniacal laughter, big belly laughs. Now I'm laughing even harder.

[wingman]

Mr. Peepers if you sprinkle some powdered laundry soap in back the cabs the spider will start to dry up and die. A friend of mine was an exterminator and told me this. He said a spider actually breathes through its side and the dust and enzymes from the soap will get ingested in the spider and drys it up from inside out! What a way to go...give it a try

[Mr Peepers]

Mr. Peepers if you sprinkle some powdered laundry soap in back the cabs the spider will start to dry up and die. A friend of mine was an exterminator and told me this. He said a spider actually breathes through its side and the dust and enzymes from the soap will get ingested in the spider and drys it up from inside out! What a way to go...give it a try


Thanks for this advice wingman, I will give it a try.

[Mr Peepers]

So Mr Spidey might have been a MRS Spidey.

I am now noticing webs along the bottom of the cupboard and in the corner again. I've been creeping around in the middle of the night trying to see what spider is creating them. I actually expected to see Mr Spidey in a body cast or with a couple of leg casts on his wounded damaged legs.

But here I was surprised to see a couple of teeny tiny black dot replica's of Mr Spidey hanging around the new webs. Poor single mom Mrs Spidey who was killed trying to protect her children that were growing in an egg sack under my cupboards.

I will get the flame thrower out soon.

If you don't hear from me over the next few days its because the house burned down.