Abe violated the BRO CODE

[Abesdad]

I had a guest last night, we have the same schedule and decided to take our day off and watch movies, and have some wine. I stay on my regular schedule on my days off. UP ALL NIGHT. We sat down and started chatting and to my surprise she leaned in for the "first kiss". Out of nowhere I hear a voice that sounded like someone correcting a child " noooooo " She has a sense of humor so she giggled and the moment was gone. A few minutes later she moved in again and tried for the kiss and in a more firm tone of voice we hear "NOOOOO!" Now we are both laughing and I decide to cover Abe. We sit down and from the top corner of the cover I see movement and then a little eye peeking out. She looks at Abe and says I can kiss your daddy if I want to, and she plants one on me. The next sound I hear can only be described as "e[Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks]" before she can pull away she laughs .....in my mouth. We spent the next 20 minutes laughing about how awkward this was going and how Abe wasn't helping. Finally we got the laughing out of our system and I decided to pick things up where we left off. I kissed her and Abe erupted. He screamed shook the cage and fell off his perch screaming NO NO NO NO over and over. It was so bad she actually left. All of this was at around 1:30am So thanks a lot Abe. You violated the bro code and totally BIRD BLOCKED me! On the phone later she said "He scares me, why would keep him, he's not your problem. Not that it matters because I doubt she will be back but, was this jealousy?

[Momto3boys]

Oh wow, I dont even know what to make of that.

Did Abe like her?
I know the birds that are bonded to me dont like Craig touching me....but Abe isnt bonded to you. Hmmmm birds are smart.

It saddens me that she said that though :(
Im wondering if he really liked the girl and he wanted her to pay attention to him instead of you. Im interested to see what others think of this.

[josiesmom]

I'm not sure if it is jealousy or just him being mad because it was 130 am and he wasn't sleeping. Josie will peak out too, but she gets covered around 8. Hopefully your friend will be back during the day when she will get to see Abe when he isn't tired. Granted, it was funny that he blocked you but I see no reason for her to be afraid if he was in his cage. I know that he should not be your problem, but you really are doing the right thing by trying to bond with him. It can be stressful but in the end, you will both be happy.

[Abesdad]

Abe is NOT bonded to me. He didn't care about her one way or the other really. She didn't talk to him, she was afraid and I get the impression she thinks of birds as dirty.

[merlinsmom13]

I think Abe has bonded to you. We have the same problem here, my DH is not allowed to touch me in front of him during hormonal season. I think I would make out where he couldn't see you. ;-) :th_loltears:

[Abesdad]

I get that Josies mom but he never acts like that when I am home alone.

[Momto3boys]

Yes, next time take your dates right into the bedroom, bahahahaha :th_yah:

[Abesdad]

As a woman would you believe me if I said "we should watch TV in the bedroom so the bird isn't jealous?" On a first visit I mean . lol I have used some cheesy lines before but that wont fly- lmao

[Blancaej]

Too funny! Sorry you lost your date. But hopefully you can work this out so Abe knows the "BRO CODE" :th_biggrin:

[Momto3boys]

:th_loltears: If it were me Id say screw the movies and the bedroom, lets hang out with Abe....LOL but I do understand were not all bird crazy.

[Abesdad]

:th_biggrin:

[josiesmom]

I agree w/mom to3boys...hang out with Abe! Lol. If he is not bonded, perhaps he just has a fun sense of humor.

If she thinks birds are dirty, she should not be invited back, IMO.

[Abesdad]

Josiesmom, I agree with you but I cant find the sweet spot between living my life with a bird or for a bird, I am extremely particular about cleaning his cage. I change the paper every other day and change the water twice daily. Baths are a challenge but once a week. It was always MY JOB.

[Momto3boys]

I live my life for my birds (even my children miss out because of the birds).

We dont even go on vacation because I dont trust anyone with my fids....my poor kids want to go camping, etc so badly. So we set up a tent in the yard and we "camp".
I do what I can but when it comes down to it, I do believe pretty much everything I do I think of the birds first.

[Abesdad]

How does the hubby handle that? or is he a bird person too?

[Momto3boys]

He's good with it, he doesnt love the birds like I do but he says he loves watching me with the birds, he says it makes him happy to see me so happy.
Actually he starts his holidays next week and he plans on building them an outdoor aviary because its something I've always wanted.

He has also sacrificed pur bedroom just so the birds could have their own room AND they only sleep in there. We have their cages in there and they're only in their cages at bedtime or if we all leave the house.
We moved our bedroom to the recroom in the basement, we dont even have a bedroom door, hahahaha.

When I only had one bird we would just bring her with us....but now its just not possible. I do have a friend down the road who loves birds (she has a CAG) but shes petrified of Elliot.

Tiko is Craig's bird but not by choice. Tiko chose him and wants nothing to do with me, and Craig loves him but he doesnt want anymore, LOL

[josiesmom]

This is the reason my guy wants to create a spot on the forum for the spouses/significant others of bird owners support group. Lol.

[Momto3boys]

Ahahahahaha Anita, that is a great idea!

Craig's love is fish.....he has a 220 gallon fish tank in our bedroom, so we both give and take a little, haha.

[Momto3boys]

Boy oh boy David, we sure hi-jacked your thread :th_ashamed3:

[josiesmom]

Ben loves dogs, so we got a puppy for Josie to drive crazy. We had a fish tank, too, but we just decided we didn't have time for it. I'll talk about about the forum and he just shakes his head and says that he can't believe there are others like me in the world. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing, but then he will crack the joke that he needs to start the support group for the spouses. In theory, it is a great idea, but I can't imagine the conversations on there....hey my wife's bird is always trying to kiss her..does anyone else get jealous that the bird gets more kisses then you? I get the feeling that by seeing it from their perspective, it will make us seem much crazier than we really are...LOL

[Abesdad]

Maybe the support idea isn't bad. I am trying to do right by my new ward, but I must admit I don't understand the attraction. Like any good person I supported her, but I never really got the obsession.

[Momto3boys]

I guess we all have our thing ;)

I love birds, Craig loves fish. Some people are obsessed with children, with dogs, cats, etc etc.

I am in awe of my birds. I will literally sit on the couch and say to Craig "look at Elliot" and he will say "ahhhhh hes not doing anything"....."No, but LOOK at him.....REALLY look at him". His beauty, the way his mind works, everything about him amazes me. It does with all my birds but Elliot is my only one in the living room. I have the girls in the kitchen and when Craig and I are in the kitchen togethers its usually for meal times and were trying to keep birds out of our plates, hahaha.

I had a wisdom tooth pulled, I came home and literally died on the couch, I didnt move. Craig said Elliot got as close to me as he could on his play gym and didnt take his eyes off me. He knew I wasnt feeling good. When I finally woke up he came and laid on the couch with me, literally laying on the pillow with me and at one point he even put his wing over both of our heads.

This morning Nyka bit me when i was taking her out of her cage and I said "ouch Nyka"....I brought her out to her play gym and then went back in and got Elliot. He grabbed my finger where she bit me and actually licked the spot.

This is one of the reasons I love them. Their intelligence amazes me. Their bond with me is so strong, its so unlike the dogs and cats.

In the mornings I will make the birds a piece of sprouted toast and I put either coconut oil on it or red palm oil. The birds share half a piece, I cut it into 4 squares and the other half goes in the dog food bowl. Anyways one day I missed and it landed on the floor. Cosmo crawled down off of her play gym, across the kitchen floor, she picked up the piece of toast and put it in the dogs dish. She knew every morning thats where I put it, and I missed so she did it for me.

I could go on and on....
They're just amazing animals :th_heart: I see them as an equal. I dont see them as a pet like I do my dogs and cats.
Sorry for the novel haha.

[Abesdad]

Wow, that's a lot to take in, maybe I am honestly not meant to be a bird person. I see him as a pet, smart, intuitive and a LOT of personality, but an animal none the less.

[Debra]

Sounds to me like Abe is beginning to bond to you. At least he doesn't want you to pay attention to anyone else. You have to admit his behavior was funny. The things these parrots come up with is amazing.

[Abesdad]

FRUSTRATING, but funny too.

[Momto3boys]

And thats okay too :th_hug8:

Some birds are more hands off, I dont have that strong of a bond with Nyka. I love her, but she is content to do her own thing. I call her my ADD child.

One of my closest friend has 28 dogs, she runs a dog sled team, she also has some therapy dogs that she goes to the hospitals/nursing homes with. I also have 3 dogs but Im not connected to my dogs like she is to hers. I love my dogs, they have the best that I can give them but Im not connected to them like my friend is to hers but I still believe my dogs are happy. Does that make sense?

Lots of people dont see birds like me (or others here) BUT their birds are happy and their life is fulfilled.

[weco]

.....we don't even have a bedroom door, hahahaha.



Now, that's going to be interesting when your kids get older.....

[Momto3boys]

Now, that's going to be interesting when your kids get older.....

Lets just say we can get pretty darn creative when we have too :th_loltears:

[jtbirds]

Abesdad I am a younger kid and of course are involved in the life of dating, I've had many girls come over to my house and yes they have made the comment arnt they dirty and such and just move with it answering the questions, but then once they get to know the animals they usually love them. I'd also like to point out if she was truly interested in you for a relationship the fact of your pet wouldn't have bothered her so I am not about to begin to give you relationship advice but maybe it is better;). Anyone willing would have wanted to learn and accept before being so crude...

My current girlfriend loves the birds at first she had to reservations and such, but she truly does appreciate them for what they are, when she first came she was like oooo wow and then we talked and I rescued all of them so it was kinda like I'm a good guy thing I guess but she really took a liking to what I do and is supportive. She defiantly demands her time with me though lol, but she knows the birds get it first and she is ok with that;).

[Pinkbirdy]

I do believe Abesdad ,the answer here is to find a "Bird Girl" .Who would have found great humor in that situation [and next time came with pine nuts :)]

[Abesdad]

Lol great idea, I will post an add on E-harmony , wanted "woman to come see my bird!" Not many people in this area seem to have large birds or like them.

[JerseyBella]

lol great idea, i will post an add on e-harmony , wanted "woman to come see my bird!" not many people in this area seem to have large birds or like them.

lol!

[Rescued]

Abesdad, I missed out on the whole story of how you ended up with him, but when I was dating, I told men that my animals come first, if they couldn't deal with that then they weren't for me. This also makes sense to me as a potential mate, when I have children, I want a man to see our family as first, not an individual in it. I am getting married in 5 days, and my spouse doesn't LOVE all of our pets like I do, but he knows that they are part of our family and has no reservations in caring for them and loving them, I know that with his kind and loving heart, our child will have the same love and understanding, without all the ego. That is what really made me fall in love with him.

[noblemacaw]

Back when I only had my Noble macaw Mihijo and dating was rather challenging. Most men thought I was too much into the parrot and suggested that because of that it would be hard to find someone who was as into birds as I was. I told these people I would rather be by myself than with someone who was not understanding and compassionate for animals. I was never able to trust people that did not like animals. There is a different vibe on people that do not like animals and for me that is too much. My partner use to be so afraid of parrots she would freeze when Mihijo would fly to her and land on her. Mihijo was the most gentle and loving parrot and would not hurt a fly but she was so afraid of him at first. Over time he won her over and they were inseparable. When Mihijo had his heart attack in October we both took his death hard but Lupe took his loss so much more hard than I did and I raised Mihijo. She put up with Diego my Illiger's macaw and Joaquin my Eclectus but she really loved that Noble macaw of mine.

It is so much easier to have a partner that can accept you totally and understand you. Parrots have been a significant part of my life for over 20 years. Fate had it where my home was birdless for 2 months and for me it was lonely and too quiet. For me it was too depressing but for Lupe didn't feel it as intensely as I did. She felt something was not right but the birdless house did not affect her the same way it did me. When Valentino was old enough to come home I welcomed him with open arms and a sigh of relief.

I am sure much to Lupe's relief I am not one of those people that will have 5, 10, 15 parrots in their home. Three has always been my limit for me to be able to meet each parrots needs. My health is not what is use to be and when I wanted to add one more parrot she made me realize I probably could not keep 3 parrots anymore. Valentino and Julio are probably going to be it.

Some people are not bird people. No matter how hard they try some people just cannot connect with a parrot. I understand Abe is still very young but he had the potential to live a great many years, longer than any dog or cat. Maybe some time should be considered if keeping Abe if right for you. If you are committed to Abe and love him by all means keep him and learn all you can about keeping him happy and healthy. I am sure down the line you will meet someone you are going to want to make a life with and Abe will have to be part of that new life too. Can you commit to a "pet" that is so intelligent, with specific needs and health requirements, who will probably bond to you and is a part of your life larger than a more traditional pet is going to be? Not everyone is a bird person and that is alright. Do you want to just be able to meet Abe's needs or have Abe be a part of your life. Do you enjoy Abe? Do you love Abe? I don't mean to question anything about your relationship with the parrot but I would like you to make sure you want to continue to keep him if that makes you happy.

[josiesmom]

Well said Rebecca! What a great story...so glad that you and your partner were able to find the happy medium in regards to your flock.

I agree with your questions/thoughts for whether or not he should consider rehoming Abe or even trying to reunite him with the ex. I know it may not be his first choice of people to take Abe but perhaps it would be best for Abe. Unless, he thinks that she would just up and leave him again, then no way should she be considered.

[noblemacaw]

Maybe David has a lot of soul searching to do. I am sure he wants what is best for Abe as his posts strike me as such. If he can reach inside and be honest with himself and ask "Do I want to keep Abe for his forever life? Do I love Abe and enjoy his company? Would I do what is necessary to keep Abe happy and healthy?" These are questions Dave needs to ask himself. If he decides he is not the best for Abe and decides he needs to find another home for his parrot I am also thinking that maybe the ex is not the best choice since she abandoned the parrot in the first place.

David - I have enjoyed reading about your more humorous stories about your Abe. I also read that you mentioned that you are not a bird person. I am wondering if being with Abe and making the effort to work with him and learn how to take care of him is changing your mind about how you feel about being a bird person. Please let us know your thoughts on this. No one here would ever judge you or think the worse of you for coming to your truths. Personally I hope you keep Abe and realize you enjoy that Blue and gold Macaw as your companion.

Best for you and Abe always

Rebecca

[Bokkapooh]

I get that Josies mom but he never acts like that when I am home alone.

Why would he act jealous when you two are home alone?

When you're up all night can you move him to a night night cage?:)