Not too proud of myself right now

[Sucre]

Well, we made a decision this week and decided to rehome Sucre. We were driving home from work one night and realized we were actually dreading going home to an evening of trying to make him happy without me getting hurt. His animosity towards me was intensifying every day, rather than improving, and we had tried everything in the books. It had gotten to the point to where I couldn't even feed him or give him fresh water without getting bit, and I don't mean nips. I mean bites that left bruises for days. I could no longer even walk into the room that they were in without him coming after me, my husband couldn't keep him under control. I carefully researched and found a lady about two hours away who takes in large birds. She doesn't rehome them, she had several cockatoos and macaws. She talked to me on the phone for over an hour, and we met the next night. (She had another umbrella that she had rescued from living in a dog kennel with no human interaction other than feeding, he was with her.) We didn't sell him, we traded (after discussing our lifestyle and needs) and we now have a 4 month old black capped conure and a 1 month old yellow sided conure that I am handfeeding.

We both cried our eyes out. The lady was running late at the meeting spot, and Sucre was in his crate in the back seat saying "I'm sorry" over and over. I went through a box of Kleenex and finally called her and told her that if she did not get there within 15 minutes I was not going to be able to do it. (I didn't know she had been sidetracked by picking up the other U2.)

I feel so bad giving up on him. He was so amazing with my husband, but the truth of the matter is, we were having to completely separate when my husband was home so that Sucre could get the attention he needed, and it seemed like we were spending every waking hour that we weren't working trying to figure out something that might make things better, which became very frustrating since things continued to get worse daily.

So, now, Sucre is in a large vaulted ceiling room, with many feathered friends. She has it set up just for the birds - everything hanging above the cages for playtime that they could possibly want. It's pretty amazing, and I so wish we had the space to do that for him. He's become best friends with a grouchy old Molucan cockatoo that just recovered from some severe stress induced health issues. She says he's "adorable" and one of the most well behaved birds she's ever rescued. She has sent me pics and videos and he seems very happy.

I'm still struggling with it - I don't give up on animals and I truly believed he was ours for life, but I have to believe we did the right thing for all of us. My husband is actually coping better with his absence than I am, he witnessed the attacks on me and understood that I wasn't going to get over my fear of Sucre. He also saw the bruises and the cuts. Sucre taught me that my heart doesn't always know what's best, and I can't be impulsive in some situations, no matter how good my intuition usually is.

Just wanted you all to know. You all tried so hard to help me. I wish I had joined here the second we brought him home, things might not have gone the way they did. And, I'd love to hang around with my little birds - if I ever even mention getting a larger parrot, I expect a full fledged intervention on the spot.

[Mare]

Aww..I'm sorry :(. I know that had to have been a heart wrenching decision to make. These birds are complicated, there were many times I almost gave up on Amigo, I understand. I'm glad to know you found a good place for him. Please, do hang around! If you can, keep us up on Sucre's progress :)

[wingman]

Bless your hearts ! He will be OK...

[PlaxMacaws]

We both cried our eyes out. The lady was running late at the meeting spot, and Sucre was in his crate in the back seat saying "I'm sorry" over and over.That's just heartbreaking :(. But it seems like the best decision considering you were able to locate this lady who is set up so well to accommodate larger parrots in need. I haven't participated in the your discussion about Sucre, but I have been following along. I'm happy to know that you have taken on some new feathered family members. Please stick around, indeed! :)

[Lady]

Aww Kim,

It sounds to me like you did the right thing. I know you are beating yourself up but seriously, you did the best you could. Sometimes it is the hard decisions that turn out to be the best one's made. It sure sounds like he will have a good life with the home you have placed him in. It's always mind boggling to me why some birds are so strongly against one person and are totally "in love" with another. We do have to remember they are not domesticated and we have much to learn about them. I also must add that where they were before they came to us plays a role on how they perceive what is going on around them. This is more than likely a strong reason why so many want a baby and we know even then they can form bonds with others so very different then the one who reared them.
On a lighter note, congrats on the new birds you have! I'm looking forward to seeing their pics and hearing about their progress.

[spiritbird]

Some birds are more difficult to nurture. It sounds like a nightmare for you both but you can relax now and concentrate on your little Conures, while knowing Sucre is in a good home. I like the deal you and this woman came too because no money was exchanged. That's a good way to do something like this.

[Camelotshadow]

So sad he kept saying "I'm Sorry", Heartbreaking.
Glad you found him a great home.
Good luck with your conures. Please keep us updated & post pics.

[Sucre]

Some birds are more difficult to nurture. It sounds like a nightmare for you both but you can relax now and concentrate on your little Conures, while knowing Sucre is in a good home. I like the deal you and this woman came too because no money was exchanged. That's a good way to do something like this.

We talked about what the problem areas were with Sucre, and she was very informative on my options...Having had her rescue for years, I felt comfortable in her helping me make the decision as to what would be the best fit for our lifestyle.

Right now the oldest bird we have is 5 months!

I am going to have to start all over in taming my lovebirds. We spent so much time working with Sucre that they've gone a little wild on me. They weren't overly tame to start with - my first lesson in the difference between "hand fed" and "hand raised". My little parrotlet made it through the ordeal without losing much ground. I managed to continue working with her, and although she can be a bit nippy at times, overall she's good.

I know I did what was best for Sucre, but it's going to take me a long time to get over it.

[kendrafitz]

I'm so very sorry for you. That must have been an extremely difficult decision to make. But it really sounds like it was the best decision you could have made. For everyone.

Congratulations on your new additions! Can't wait to read all about your new, happy adventures.

So glad you are staying with us!!!

[spiritbird]

Ask Charlie about taking lovebirds. Wingman. Perhaps he has some pointers.

[Sucre]

Thanks, everyone. I found it all so frustrating. I am the one that every animal gravitates to. I had two yearling deer in my yard last year that literally came up onto the carport while I was sitting there. If the cat hadn't ran up on them, I would have been able to touch them. They came back for days. Who knew deer would eat cat food??? I was so stubborn with Sucre that I really thought I could make him like me, and I think I made it even harder on all of us for a couple of weeks there. I get daily reports on him - he's still being "adorable" and well behaved. (I'm wondering if she's confusing him with her other U2.) She was very smart about it, though. She wouldn't take his old cage, she wanted everything to be new for him, nothing from his past. Maybe that is what I should have done. It makes it easier for me knowing how he is doing, and that he seems happy.

I posted up some pics of the conures in that forum. Little Lucy is the greediest little bird I've ever seen! She loves her formula way too much and I'm a bit worried over transitioning her to seed. I've been offering millet, but she'd rather stuff her crop with formula 3 times a day. (She thinks she needs to eat every time she hears my voice, and that all contact is "feeding time". We're working on that.) Billy is great, he's such a sweet bird. He's bonding well with my husband. He's a little leary of new foods - I finely chop fruits and veggies every night for everyone. He loves pear, so I guess that's a start. I'm trying my hand at sprouting bird seeds for Lucy, and thought I'd offer some to Billy too, just to kind of sway him towards veggies.

[Sucre]

Well, I am even more frustrated.

I messaged the woman who got Sucre on Friday, asking about him - I think about him every day, and still worry over my decision.

She quickly messaged me back and said "He attacked my son and I rehomed him with my cousin in Nashville. He's doing fine. She's a single woman".

Okay, he has this history of attacking, and she knew this - I gave full disclosure because I didn't want anyone walking in blindly like I did, but she told me it wasn't a problem since the birds were kept upstairs in their own room with free roam. So, I can't doubt he attacked or tried to attack her son, I've witnessed him in action.

I've been watching her (stalking) on fb, and I believe I let Sucre go to a bird flipper, and I am so upset with myself. I had a lady wanting him who had an African grey and lived alone (I had tons of people wanting him) but this person knew her birds and described what I thought would be the perfect home for him. I could just cry. He's in his 3rd home in 3 months, and the last two are my fault.

[Doublete]

I'm sorry.

When I rehome horses (never any other animals but if I were forced to I would do this), I ask for references.
I get a vet reference, a professional (farrier/blacksmith/groomer), and a personal/training reference.

Your experience may help others in the future. I always check references and I've had one bad experience but mostly good.

[Bird Mom]

I'm sorry, unfortunatly there are just too many people out there who take in animals just to flip them. I had this same thing happen to me with a cockatiel. I told the guy he is 9 years old and he bites and was NOT tame. He kept saying it was fine he just really wanted him and talked me down to a small fee of just $30. The next day I asked how he was doing and was told he was doing great and they loved him. That night I saw him on craigslist "very hand tame male just two years old. I paid a LOT of money for him only asking $110". I was so frusterated I asked him why he lied to me and he said that it was because he wasn't hand tame. This was a complete lie since we told him repeatedly that the he bites and was no where near tame. I then saw him posting green cheeks for $500 and a bunch of parakeets for $30 each. He has NO idea what he is doing.
Anyways, my only question is if this lady was a bird flipper then wouldn't she be at a loss for giving you two baby conures? Maybe she just underestimated how aggressive Sucre was.

[kendrafitz]

I am so sorry. You did what you thought was the right thing. Unfortunately all people are not as honest as we would hope. Hopefully Sucre will be happy in his new home.

[LunaLovebird]

Are you able to get a phone number for his new home? It might give you peace of mind to see how he's going there. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Sucre]

Thanks, everyone. I feel like a fool.

She was referred to me by someone I trusted. I didn't check any further than that. :th_eek:

I am going to ask for contact information with the new owner, if she will respond to me. I was so stunned and upset that I couldn't even respond to her when she told me. On the one hand, I know his aggression level, and would never want him around a child of any age, so if that is true, I get it. That is why I fully disclosed his issues to everyone I talked to about him. But that is not how she told me her set up was, and if you had children, why would you take on a large bird with those kind of problems?

I found a post she made on a local fb bird site. She was "trying to rehome a U2 for a friend" - no pics. She said she could text pics if someone wanted to see him. The post died out pretty quickly. She said the owner was elderly and could not care for him anymore, and had a pretty price tag on him. This bird was 1 year older, very, very similar in description, but it did say he had stress plucking, which I suppose could have happened in the 2 weeks that she had him. I really feel like that was Sucre, and it was posted 2 days before she told me she had to rehome him.

I guess what upsets me the most is that I had a woman inquiring about him that would have given him the perfect home, and I gave in because she was more knowledgeable and had more experience with big birds.

[Lady]

Wow, I know you are feeling bad but you did what you thought was right. We all make mistakes and the best we can do sometimes is learn from them. I like the idea of the references that is something I will keep in the back of my mind if I should ever look for a bird on CL or anywhere other than a rescue or breeder.