A Bird's Perspective - What are your Bird Rules?

[PeachyDoll]

I thought it would be fun to create a list of bird rules from your bird's perspective.


#1 Got Wood? Door frames, headboard, cabinets, dressers they are ALL MINE. I will redecorate, don't stifle my creativity! Pointy corners are dangerous, the dresser looks better with rounded corners, anyway.


#2 After uncovering me in the morning you will immediately allow me to dig through the container of organic mixed nuts and find my favorite 2 almonds. After that you will serve me a variety of fresh fruit and veg.


#3 You are here for my entertainment and pleasure, you will sing, dance and act like a goof and I will perhaps join you in said craziness or I may just stare at you like we don’t know each other.


#4 I may accept the variety of toys/gifts you choose for me but what I really want is the box they come in. Please ensure that the box is double or triple corrugated, thick and tough so I really have something to sink my beak into. Hurry up to remove all the labels and tape, I want the box and I want it now!


#5 Mommy is tasty, I will bite her when I’m hormonal. I will accept her grooming me when I feel like it.



#6 When I'm cranky you must play cartoons, preferably Sponge Bob Square Pants. Don't like it? TOO Bad!


#7 When you are on the phone with a client I will babble loudly like a deranged lunatic just so your client asks you "What the hell is going on over there?"


#8 When you have a party with a lot of guests I will drop an F bomb and people will like it! Embarrassing for you, FUN for me!!


#9 You will worship me and the ground my sweet feet walk on. Yes Rosie, yes we will, ALWAYS....




What are your bird rules in your household?

[Casper's 2nd best friend]

I think those rules must be pretty standard except Casper doesn't swear. He does like joining in if either Margaret or I are having a rant about something.
Oh, and you forgot the rule about scritches on demand.

[PeachyDoll]

Yes the swearing has become less and less. Unfortunately Rosie's last owners were divorcing for 3 years so she came to us with very colorful language :'( I can only imagine what she witnessed and heard.

Yes of course, you are right how could I forget the head scritches!

[spiritbird]

Cute idea for a thread. Here are a few from this home:

Parrot says:

If you like it, its mine!
If its in my beak, leave it there!
If my cage is clean, just wait a few minutes and I will make it dirty again.

[Mr Peepers]

1. What do you mean its night night time and time for me to go to sleep? I see some brackish day light between the slats of the window blinds, I'M NOT GETTING ON MY SWING JUST YET, yeah yeah you keep staring at me and mumbling angrily under your breath I will just ignore you, I'm a pro at ignoring you, I AM BUDGIE!


2. Yooooo Hooooo! I SAID YOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!! why aren't you talking to me and you are talking into that hand held thing. I will scream my displeasure now.

OH, too Loud? I can get louder? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



3. FLOCK CALL FLOCK CALL FLOCKKKKKKKKK CALL! Oh, you are 2 feet away and this noise hurts your pitiful human ears? TOUGH LUCK BUDDY! FLOCK CALL FLOCK CALL LOUDER LOUDER EVEN LOUDER FLOCK CALLLLLLLLLLLLLL ! Yeah nice try clapping your hands and yelling at me, this will only make me stop flock calling for 10 seconds.

FLOCK CALL FLOCK CALL FLOCKITY FLOCK FLOCK YOU! Hahahahahahahahah ACK ACK ACK ACK!


4. I love when you are home in the morning, this is great, I will fly around the den and scream noisily and wolf whistle at you while you snooze on the sofa. Why are you giving me that dirty look? You look tired human. I really want to talk to you.


5. The seed dish, we all know how I deal with the chafe on my seeds so you better FIX IT! or die being scalped and nagged at.


6. Why are you cursing me? How did I know chafe fly's all over the room when I do the flap flap flap dance while I'm ruffling my new plumage that's growing in? Somebudgie's gotta look good ya know!


7. Hey, I'm in a good mood and want to share some smooches with you, see me calling you and throwing kisses your way? I want some kisses in return, a[Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks] nice human, you are sweet talking me and showing me love throwing me smooches in return. For this..... I will be nice here and not ignore you for 2 minutes more.

[Mare]

Hahaha! Great bird's rules, everyone :)

Sassy: Rule #1..do ([Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks]) not talk on the phone while you are holding me or..you will get bit.

Rule#2..do not let the phone ring while you are holding me or..you will get bit.

Rule #3..do ([Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks]) not talk to loud or move any part of your body while responding to another human in the room, while
you are holding or..I think you get the idea..

Amigo: Rule #1..you ([Users must be registered and logged in to view attached photos or hyperlinks]) better not be a male if you try to touch me or..you will get bit.

Rule#2..if you are a male, other than our Tim, walking across my yard..you will get buzzed heavily, possibly
slapped by a wing, accidentally/on purpose, on the side of your head. You will be watched closely, at
ALL times!

Rule#3..I must have a cuddle session AT LEAST, twice a day by the woman I love and who loves me back.

Chip: I'm pretty easy. Feed me, make sure I have water and I will sing/whistle to you all day long..just DON'T..touch me
with your hands. That is all, thank you.

[spiritbird]

Amigo is a lady's man. Has he ever seen a female of his same species?

[Mare]

He is most certainly a lady's man! As far as I know, he's never met a female U2. His previous owner bought him when he was 3yrs. she had a female African Grey and Amigo got along well with her.

[Lady]

Rule 1. If you wake me when the sun is already up, I will not be graceful but excited and ready to take a bath.

Rule 2. When I am bathing, you need to watch because my little bowl gets empty quick and you need to fill it back up not just once or
twice but until I have soaked a good part of the cage, the floor and the furniture, then I will proceed to clean myself.

Rule 3. While I am drying I will tell you just what I want for breakfast, then change my mind when you bring it.

Rule 4. Don't forget to turn up the music before you go to work, and adjust the fan and blinds so I can keep cool.

Rule 5. Now that your home, don't stop to do anything till you greet me or I will not stop yelling.

Rule 6. The fruit you brought me is yummy, but you know I want to taste what you have on your plate too.

Rule 7. It's not time for bed till all light is gone from my view, if I see light I will come down to the front of the cage and mumble
in bird talk because I know you are awake.

[spiritbird]

Lady you are so special. Only the best for you.

[kendrafitz]

This is a great thread!

1. Once you look my way in the morning you must get me immediately! DO NOT try that sidelong glance while brewing your coffe, thinking I don't see you. I do and I want my limo ride to my tree NOW! 

2. If you turn on the kitchen faucet, I have one word for you. APPLE

3. Once you foolishly allow me to the top of my cage, I am going to entertain you and the entire neighborhood. You may not appreciate my singing, screaming and flapping, but I have a fan club down the street and they need to HEAR me!!

4. Jef must NEVER be spoken to in my presense. I am the most important person in the room, get lost annoying man!

5. When company is over, it is perfectly fine for me to shove my tongue in your ear. Why is everyone acting like it is so strange. I need to make sure everyone remembers you are MINE.

6. Preen me, preen me, preen me, until I decide we are done. I will signal this to you by screeching and pinching you.

7. The top of your head is the best place to sit when we are walking. It also gives me access to pinch your neck by hanging off your ponytail. So much fun!!! 

8. Shower time is the best time for singing. ALWAYS remember to turn on the music!

9. Love me, kiss me & cuddle me. I love you Mommy just as much as you love me. 

Sent from my SM-T800 using Tapatalk

[Mare]

Ooohhh! I loved that, Kendra! Rosie is such a princess! :).

[Casper's 2nd best friend]

Has anyone mentioned the Button Law?
Buttons are placed on clothing not for the purpose of keeping two parts together but expressly for the pleasure of parrots.

[Mr Peepers]

I forgot about the ceiling fan, yes the ceiling fan is my EAGLES NEST sans nest and chicks.

I will sit up here viewing all the peons below me while I poop on and off the blades of the fan screaming my head off for the fun of it. I don't mind when the human walks by and gives the fan blade a little push, I just sit here and spin and pretend I am on a budgie merry go round.

I like when the fan spins beacuse my poop has a better distribution area, sometimes the poop can hit the human at his desk. I LIKE THAT A LOT! :th_biggrin:

[PlaxMacaws]

Zaf's #1 rule: I WILL sneak down to the floor when you're not looking and get into as much trouble as possible, as often as possible. That's simply how things are!

Salsa's #1 rule: If you are in possession of something to eat, you need to bring me a large helping of whatever it is! I monitor what you're doing and I always know when food is involved. If you try to do anything with food that doesn't involve sharing a large portion of it with me, I will persistently blast your eardrums until you rectify the situation! Food is my absolute favorite thing about life! Never forget that!!!

Jack's #1 rule: NEVER move Maynard more than 4 feet from me or I will blast your head off with a perpetual instance of my shrillest screaming. I will only revert back to my usual calm, quiet demeanor once you've returned Maynard to a point within the 4-foot comfort perimeter that I have stipulated.

Maynard's #1 rule: I live to scream as much as I possibly can!!! You may not realize this, but my daily incessant screaming sessions are hi-tech communication events upon which I am exchanging important information with my relatives and friends in South America. You shall not under any circumstances impede these classified data stream transmissions! My messages WILL get through!!

[PlaxMacaws]

get lost annoying man!For the record, I got an incredibly HUGE laugh from that statement, Kendra! :th_loltears:

[Mr Peepers]

LOUD! :th_biggrin: