Goffins cockatoo afraid of me - I need help

[2birds]

Hey everyone, I joined this forum a while ago but really have not participated much. I haven't been spending too much time on the computer lately. I have two birds. One is an Alexandrian parakeet and the other is a Goffins cockatoo. I am having a problem with the cockatoo. We have only had him a few months. The problem is early on he would come to me but it wasn't long before he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He will go to other people and one of my nieces in particular he absolutely adores. Come to think of it, the first week we had him I had to leave for a couple of days and by the time I got back they had bonded. Now he won't come to me at all. If he has a choice he will fly away. He's not clipped. My niece is now going to move out at the end of the month and it will just be me here. I figured that I must have done something that put him off but I don't know what. I really want for him and I to become friends. I don't want for him to become lonely when my niece leaves. How can I show him that I am not going to hurt him and he doesn't have to fly away. I bring him into my room with me and he will stay somewhat and let me scratch his head but I can tell he is always looking for an escape and he really doesn't want to be there. Can anyone help with suggestions that work.

Thanks Lori

[Debra]

First let me say welcome to our forum. I know nothing about how to handle a too as I don't have one. There are others on here who do have the experience and will chime in.

I'm guessing that when you were gone he felt abandoned by you and thus bonded to your niece. I would venture to say that once she moves out, if you provide the attention a too needs then he will eventually bond with you. The bond may not be as strong as the bond with your niece is, but I'm sure you will have a good bond. I'm also guessing that the reason he doesn't want to be with you is that your niece is still living with you and he's bonded to her. He feels her presence. Too's are such needy characters and like I said, I have no first hand experience with them, but I'm hoping I gave you some glimmer of hope. I also hope I'm right in my assumptions.

Keep in mind, all of this is coming from a person who has an ekkie that will chase her down and bite her feet if given the chance. My ekkie absolutely hates females but loves males -- hence her bond with my hubby.

I am looking forward to hearing other's responses to this situation.

[2birds]

Thanks for replying Debra, I don't think he felt abandoned by me, he was only here a couple of days when that happened. The one niece that he adores is here most of the day and I believe she was probably with him non stop when he first came because she really liked him. That is probably why they bonded. The thing is he will still go to other people. My other niece will come over and he will want to go check her out. He will even go to strangers to check them out. He really is a friendly little guy. He just won't come to me. If I approach his cage he will move to the other side. If I try to get him out, he will get on my hand but only to race up my arm and jump to the top of his cage. If I ask him to get on my hand he will fly away to another room, If I go to get him he will fly back to his cage. I don't really think that it is good to be chasing him back and forth. He really just doesn't want to be around me but will still go to other people including strangers. It's like he has a thing for me but I don't know why. I really want to fix it so we are better buddies.

[Mare]

Hi Lori! I have a female Goffin's 'too and she is much the same way with me, as yours is with you EXCEPT,,when my husband is gone for a few days. Then she'll accept me to be her friend. My Sassy has chosen my hubby as her mate and wants nothing to do with me (except to bite me) when he is in the picture. I think Debra had some good insight. Once your niece moves out, I would bet that your boy will eventually settle for you. Cockatoos are very social, Sassy will also check out anyone else in the room, she is very curious about new people. They are social to the point of not wanting to be alone, they long to be in relationships, so this is why I think he will come back to you :). Good luck!

[Pinkbirdy]

Exactly what Mare said . My rehomes seem to always bond to one person. Im sure he will bond to you once your niece leaves [just give him a chance].

[2birds]

Thanks everyone, I hope that you are right. I'm glad that he found a friend in my niece but kind of worry about when she moves out. He doesn't ever try to bite me, he just wants to get away and I don't want to chase him or follow him looking like a predator. I hope he comes around.
As I'm typing this he is sitting with me listening to dubstep and watching the Alexandrine dance. He doesn't look like he's having too much fun but at least he's staying here. I guess that's a start. He likes Depeche Mode too, LOL.
I have never owned a cockatoo before. If there is anything that I should or should not be doing specifically to this species let me know. Thanks

[Mare]

Don't worry, Lori, they are great teachers! Be sure you are feeding him a good diet. They love attention but if you work many hours a day, make sure he has plenty to do in his cage. I think you're right in thinking the way you do about chasing him around, not a good idea. If you can keep him from destroying everything in sight, while he is out, he should eventually warm up to you. Cockatoos are unique, as far as I'm concerned, and once you feel their love there is nothing else like it :)

[Pinkbirdy]

Besides his regular toys .Put newspaper and cardboard boxes in his cage [these guys are shredders] .All my Toos like this . A huge mess but worth it :)

[Mare]

Sassy's favorites are cardboard egg cartons and oatmeal boxes attached to the inside of her cage, perch level :)

[2birds]

Thanks for the tips. I am an animal lover. I've had cats vomit on me, sick dogs have accidents in the house, horses step on me, etc. etc. A mess from shredded paper is not a problem. They can have all the cardboard that they want. Every time I walk by his cage (he sits on top of it most of the time) I leave a little piece of slivered almond for him. I feel like I am making offerings to the bird god or something. He'll wait for me to step back and then take it.

[Pinkbirdy]

See ,it will happen . Im always amazed how long things take with birds . Talk to us 2 months after shes gone . You may have a different bird :)

[Mare]

Keep us updated, Lori :). I'm not a pro with cockatoos...all I know is what I've experienced. Please let us know what you learn from YOUR experience! :)

[2birds]

I hope he will be a different bird. He's very quiet when she's not here but when she returns home he just lights up. I am always willing to learn, I just don't want to do it at the birds expense. I was kind of considering letting her take him with her but changed my mind because she really can't afford his care. When I was a kid I had an Amazon and a Lory. I thought that I knew birds but the cockatoos seem to be very different.

[Pinkbirdy]

They are a different arnt they [I think Toos are more emotionally sensitive] My rehomes have acted similar to him:}

[Turquoise]

I was going to ask you if the Goffins is a rehome and what is his background with previous care. And was he cared for by mostly females or males? I am just trying to find a connection as to why he may be trying to avoid you. I was just thinking you may remind him of someone in his past if he is an older bird.

I don't have a Cockatoo~~yet. I will be getting my first Too in mid summer when my baby Rose Breasted Too is weaned. Right now it is in egg stage. :) I do have macaws and an ekkie and a pionus. And I do know that birds can be funny creatures with who they 'fall in love' with the same as humans can. Sometimes it is nothing you are doing wrong, they simply just fall feathers over feet 'In Love' with the person who is not their main care taker and is not supposed to be their bird. LOL That hasn't happened in my home, but I have read about it happening many times and the person who got the bird to be their companion is heartbroken over the rejection as well they should feel. I'm just thinking possibly your Too has done just that, fallen for your niece and will have to redirect his attentions toward you once his love fancy is out of the picture.

Hope all goes well with you and your feathered friend. It can take months for some birds to settle in enough to decide who they bond to. Don't give up and do keep us updated with your progress. Sounds like all you really need is time to adjust to each other. :)

[2birds]

I got him from a man who has quite a few birds. He has macaws, cockatoos and an assortment of smaller birds. All of the birds he has are in outside aviaries except for a few that are in his home. He didn't have this bird for very long, maybe a couple of months. He got him from an elderly lady who couldn't take care of him any more. The man just wanted to find a good home for him. He said Kilo is around five or six years old.
I know that birds will pick their fav. person but geeze, this bird will go to anybody but me. It's like when I show up he panics and takes off. Now my one niece who is his love can do no wrong. She's accidentally shut his foot in the cage door and made him scream and a couple of other minor things. He doesn't care, he's in love. I don't really care that he loves her so much and I can see why, she's a lovely person. But, I would be happy to be like everyone else and not have him afraid of me and I am happy that he doesn't bite me. He's a little goofball. He likes to play and get scratches and he loves to dance and jump up and down.

[Mare]

Not having him bite you, is a gift :)

[2birds]

I agree :)

[Turquoise]

Well, Kilo is just a Fickled Fiddie!! You would think he be a she with that kind of personality. :th_LOL: I'm just being funny and I know it is not a laughing matter. I just have nothing I can think of to help you with this short of getting Kilo to tell you himself why he chooses to befriend everyone but you. :(

I've never had a parrot treat me like that, but I did have a dog act that way once. My poodle that was devoted to me died at 10 yrs old from kidney failure. A couple of weeks later I found another black supposed to be toy poodle that turned out to grow to a miniature size. He was a tiny thing that fit in the palm of my hand at 6 wks old when I picked him out. When he came to live with me at 8 wks old he wanted to be my hubby and my son's dog. I was heartbroken that Jon La Croix would literally run from me to lavish his love on them and they didn't even encourage him. Poodles are usually not like that and I was perplexed by his treatment toward me. When he was 7 months old I found another toy poodle pup at a flea market that needed a home and so Jeaux Ber came home with me that day. Jon La Criox was not amused with the intruder and became jealous of his being around me. That turned Jon La Croix around and he became totally attached to me to the point of screaming much like a parrot when I left the house without him. He lived to be 17 yrs old and was attached to my ankle, lap, whatever part of me he could drape his long legs over like a fluffy ball & chain!

[2birds]

Thanks for the funny story Turquoise, are you trying to tell me to be careful of what I ask for? I might end up with a feathery ball and chain? Well, we'll see what happens. I'll just treat him normally and if he comes around that would be awesome. If he really just hates me and gets depressed or something I will figure something out for him. My best friend of 27 yrs. and her hubby love parrots. I know that they would love to take him in. I really want to see if he changes his mind first though.