Honesty
10-09-2013, 09:03 PM
This is very amusing. Its a letter written by a Parrot :th_hehe:
To whom it may concern:
Today, at the most intolerable institution, I was abused, shamed and humiliated with no warning and no reason. This letter is not in pursuit of condolences, but to warn and enlighten my fellow feathered brethren.
I will admit perhaps I should have seen it coming, but my normal attentiveness was diverted—blinded by a generous amount of bananas so early in the morning. So I did not. The car ride was much longer in duration than typical, but I rode on my humans lap and Glasses was giving me attention—the Other One was hidden in the back seat. So still I did not.
In white walled rooms others sat in cages, more birds then I’ve seen since my syringe days. Darwin was still stuck in the little cage. I was entirely too preoccupied with the important duty of watching my human that I undertake when we leave our room, especially with all the others around.
My head was no clearer when we went into a room away from the others. Two strange humans came in and the door was shut. I’m sure one can appreciate my tremendous pleasure when Glasses gave the Other One to the stranger. Then you will never guess, what could make that better?! He was put in a towel- and- AAAND put toes up!!!! It was enthralling. He squealed when his toes were clipped—his pleas; a sound like bananas peeling to my ears. But my tribulation was short lived. I was next.
How could she? My human, my companion, my partner? Those bananas were a lie! She gave me to him! And I went. Obedient to the end, I am an African Grey Parrot (not a squealing vasa). I was grabbed pinched, touched! My no-no square! By his hands? Neigh, those were no hands but icy paws ferreting my privates. My precious wings! I keep them closed for a reason! Why would someone cut a parrot’s toe? Those were just manicured! They are always perfectly manicured.
Others hear this please or least you fall victim of “Vets”
Warning signs:
Bananas in the morning
Human picks up phone, looks at you then leaves the room
Human keeps saying “sorry”
Travel cage is extra clean
You are forced to poop in a container
Car rides at strange time of day
Human looks at wallet and says “there’s no way”
If you see any of these signs: Bite! Poop! Don’t poop! Do something! Do not let this injustice happen to you! Fight with me! Protest. These humans have been getting too cocky for years! Time for them to remember their place. I am an African Grey Parrot, this will not be tolerated again.
I knew I was healthy, why did she need to give me to be harassed and humiliated by a stranger to figure it out—and infront of Glasses(my rival), I am mortified. I require compensation, bananas are always an option. Or you could get rid of the Other One, he is obviously clouding your judgment.
Regards,
Shadow
PS next time, in place of me, take the cat…
To whom it may concern:
Today, at the most intolerable institution, I was abused, shamed and humiliated with no warning and no reason. This letter is not in pursuit of condolences, but to warn and enlighten my fellow feathered brethren.
I will admit perhaps I should have seen it coming, but my normal attentiveness was diverted—blinded by a generous amount of bananas so early in the morning. So I did not. The car ride was much longer in duration than typical, but I rode on my humans lap and Glasses was giving me attention—the Other One was hidden in the back seat. So still I did not.
In white walled rooms others sat in cages, more birds then I’ve seen since my syringe days. Darwin was still stuck in the little cage. I was entirely too preoccupied with the important duty of watching my human that I undertake when we leave our room, especially with all the others around.
My head was no clearer when we went into a room away from the others. Two strange humans came in and the door was shut. I’m sure one can appreciate my tremendous pleasure when Glasses gave the Other One to the stranger. Then you will never guess, what could make that better?! He was put in a towel- and- AAAND put toes up!!!! It was enthralling. He squealed when his toes were clipped—his pleas; a sound like bananas peeling to my ears. But my tribulation was short lived. I was next.
How could she? My human, my companion, my partner? Those bananas were a lie! She gave me to him! And I went. Obedient to the end, I am an African Grey Parrot (not a squealing vasa). I was grabbed pinched, touched! My no-no square! By his hands? Neigh, those were no hands but icy paws ferreting my privates. My precious wings! I keep them closed for a reason! Why would someone cut a parrot’s toe? Those were just manicured! They are always perfectly manicured.
Others hear this please or least you fall victim of “Vets”
Warning signs:
Bananas in the morning
Human picks up phone, looks at you then leaves the room
Human keeps saying “sorry”
Travel cage is extra clean
You are forced to poop in a container
Car rides at strange time of day
Human looks at wallet and says “there’s no way”
If you see any of these signs: Bite! Poop! Don’t poop! Do something! Do not let this injustice happen to you! Fight with me! Protest. These humans have been getting too cocky for years! Time for them to remember their place. I am an African Grey Parrot, this will not be tolerated again.
I knew I was healthy, why did she need to give me to be harassed and humiliated by a stranger to figure it out—and infront of Glasses(my rival), I am mortified. I require compensation, bananas are always an option. Or you could get rid of the Other One, he is obviously clouding your judgment.
Regards,
Shadow
PS next time, in place of me, take the cat…