Me Josie and the judgmental neighbor

[josiesdad]

I had an interesting "incident" happen to me over the last week which got me thinking. We had Josie out on to enjoy the sun "yes she was wearing her birdie harness" along with the children. She loves to look at the sky and makes the cutest cooing sounds when she sees the clouds or other birds flying over. In all it was one of those perfect moments that are imprint's in our hearts. Laughter, contentment and happiness all around. The next day I saw one of our older neighbors, he is a bit of a hermit, one of people who yells at the neighborhood kids for thinking about going on to his lawn. He waived as he always does. But this time he waived me over. Surprised and not just a little curious I walked over and said good morning. He didn't bother with niceties he just said "that's dangerous!". Confused because I was just walking Ripley I ask "beg pardon?" "That Blue and Gold Macaw" he replied, like that statement made his point in itself. Impressed that he knew what breed Josie was, I replied she was on a harness thinking he was concerned our girl would fly off. " No! The kids could lose a finger or eye having a bird like that. I have three and mine never come out of there cage around other people". Now I never knew he had birds ( you think I would have heard them) Intrigued I directed the conversation to what kind of birds he had. "What kind of father are you?" he simply said. Frustrated I ask him how many kids have you raised? None... but I know dangerous when I see it, he persisted. "Well I have raised five. Four boys who are now men and a girl who is a woman. Now though marriage I will be adding two more boys so I think I am somewhat qualified to recognize danger. Josie is a well behaved bird & she loves the kids. Anita can read the birds mood very well so I think we will be fine. Have a good day okay".....and I began to walk away. He called out as I was walking away and "those canoes .... you're going to kill one of those kids". We have kayaks we store in the yard. I thought to myself what a sad strange little man he is. He sits in his house with his birds, afraid of the world outside and judges how everyone else should live their lives. I guess if he see's danger he feels it is necessary to point it out even if it means not living life any way other than his. We take care of all our babies, human, avian K9 and feline. Life is to be lived. So many activities can be seen as dangerous, but that is part of life. Opinions vary, as do parents, children and animals. God bless him I am sure he meant well but WOW.
:th_omg:

[Debra]

I can see both sides of this. He doesn't know you or your family though. You know Josie's temperament he doesn't. I feel sorry for him that he doesn't have much of a life though. Hopefully his birds are happy with him. I wish I could get my ekkie in her harness. I'm sure she'd love it outside.

[josiesmom]

Well, as far as the kayaks go, we both know the boys are much more skilled in that than I am. They both have had extensive swim lessons as well as water safety and CPR/first aid. Each time we go out, they also get a lesson in survival from our resident survivalist, Ben. :-)

Perhaps he can't handle his birds by he doesn't know the first thing about gaining their trust, bc he is too scared. Poor guy.

[Turquoise]

I can see why he might think that also. But if your kids weren't grabbing & prodding Josie at the time or any other time as I know you would never allow, I actually do not see a great threat to them as he sees it.

Too often in my opinion I feel the outside world is eager to tell everyone else how to live & what to enjoy. I say this from the experiences I get from folks when I tell them about virtually any of my animals. They see a dangerous, useless animal that has no reason to exist and cannot imagine why I choose to keep such in my home.

Now I do wonder tho, if you have never heard birds in this man's home & he says he has three he keeps locked in their cages, maybe he was referring to kids, not birds?:th_LOL:

[josiesmom]

Actually, the boys are very good with Josie. They are well informed and well aware of watching her body language so when they interact with her it is just amazing to watch because she is so playful with them. If she is not in the mood for play, they understand and don't bother her. Also, they know they are not to take her out unless I am there to supervise. :-)

[Luthien]

I know where your coming from I've had so many people tell me that my Scarlet is dangerous and that I could loose a finger in that beak of his. Yes I know it's possible and that's why I've trained him right from day one to "be gentle" with his beak when he's giving me affection. It's all in the training and if that man just keeps his birds inside and doesn't let them around strangers I bet they do bite and will just freak out when in a new situation, good luck to him if he ever has to take one to a vet!

[plax]

In reality, each of us is judgmental. In fact, it would be difficult not to interpret this very thread as fairly judgmental. The reality is that each of us feels justified in our views about what others have done or said. The difference, though, is (should be) how accurate those views happen to be, and whether or not they are based upon valid experiences and/or verifiable evidence. In any case, the fact remains that no matter how hard we might try not to be, we are judgmental creatures. And at times we even voice such judgmentalness indirectly ;).

Similar to the existence of indirect and direct judgmental responses, it's good to be mindful that there exist both unreasonable concerns, and reasonable ones. Unfortunately the latter go ignored much of the time - they are often broad-brushed with the former as invalid. That's sad, and can be dangerous.

(Note: I am not siding with the individual in Ben's story. I'm merely making a point which I view a valid and important one.)

[Rescued]

I think some people are very lonely and don't know how to reach out. I'm glad that your Josie is so good with the kids, in reality everything is dangerous. I train horses, I was talking to another trainer this weekend about how others view us and our willingness to take "abuse" from the animals in our lives. I constantly have bruises, scrapes, scratches, and occasional bites marks from the critters we have. I accept them as part of the lifestyle, while others think that it is ridiculous that I would have them. I hope that your children don't ever get injured, but it is the way children and all people learn.

[josiesdad]

I just find it so frustrating when people feel it is necessary to point out the obvious under the guise of being intelligent or informed. (yes a bird can bite...yes kids can drowned)... and I am not saying that no one has anything to offer, just not in a pompous, arrogant, pontificating manor. In this case I think his concern is just condescension, born from the belief that he is smarter. No matter how rude or polite it appeared it was none of his business just because he lives near bye. He is older, and maybe lonesome so I was polite but he still aggravated me.

[kendrafitz]

I completely understand the aggravation. It sounds like a great day/memory that is now marred. I also feel badly for the man. He sounds high anxiety and lonely. This may sound ridiculous, but I bet if you spoke with him a few more times you may find you like him. Especially since you have the commonality of birds. It sounds to me that he is lacking in social skills and nervous. He obviously has some affection for your boys since he is so worried. Older people are an interesting bunch. I think as we get older we stop caring what others think and the things said can then be abrupt and come off as rude. Just my two cents,
Either way, good luck with him.

[plax]

So Ben, Kendra may be correct. If you give this person a chance and become better acquainted with him you may find some common ground. Perhaps you could help him expand his mind a bit. Both of you already enjoy companion parrots... that's a good start. If he has an Internet connection you could even invite him to join our forum community. If he is in fact lonely and he has an interest in communicating with other folks who enjoy parrots this could turn out to be a great place for him to spend some time. If you're worried that he may stumble upon this thread we can easily make it vanish ahead of time ;). Just a thought :th_biggrin:

[headfeathermistress]

Poor old lonely guy. Probably chased everyone away

[Honesty]

So Ben, Kendra may be correct. If you give this person a chance and become better acquainted with him you may find some common ground. Perhaps you could help him expand his mind a bit. Both of you already enjoy companion parrots... that's a good start. If he has an Internet connection you could even invite him to join our forum community. If he is in fact lonely and he has an interest in communicating with other folks who enjoy parrots this could turn out to be a great place for him to spend some time. If you're worried that he may stumble upon this thread we can easily make it vanish ahead of time ;). Just a thought :th_biggrin:What a great idea Tony :) If this person is lonely, what better place to come than here to talk about his birds and maybe give him a purpose in his life :)

[Macawfancy]

Everyone is unique in their own way, your neighbor may be an opportunity of updated knowledge waiting to happen. If he lived around me I would seize the challenge of updating him on the newest information about parrots that he may not know if he keeps them inside and in their cages.

[Luthien]

I train horses as well and this is so true!! I even got "battle marks" from my dogs but that's just life!