What do I do about the pinching Mommy game?

[kendrafitz]

Rosie has been pinching me harder than usual lately. I have quite a few bruises from her love pinches. The pinching is usually slow and deliberate and then she sometimes giggles. I go through the regular beak hold and gentle with her. She seems very amused though and goes right back to pinching. There are times she does this when I am talking to someone else and I know she is trying to divert my attention (she also sticks her tongue in my ear when trying to divert me from a conversation - ick), but she also does this when we are alone.

She has also been getting great joy out of pinching the top part of my ears. I know, it is ridiculous. 😳 No matter how many times I remove her from my ear and tell her no ear, gentle, she goes back immediately. She laughs while doing this and gets over excited, which then leads to me putting her back on her tree. (She protests very loudly and then pinches my arm since she wants to keep "playing" with my ear)

She is a little over a year old. She is strongly bonded to me (to the point that several different non bird people have said she is obsessed with me). If she isn't playing the pinching game, she usually holds my fingers in her beak, which is fine with me. I know she isn't trying to hurt me and isn't being aggressive (unless I am attempting to put her back on her tree).

I was wondering if anyone has any advice for dealing with this? Could this be the start of her terrible twos and it's just a stage she needs to get through? She is my first bird and I want to make sure I do the right thing for her. :).

[Rescued]

Kendra,
This may seem a bit extreme, but I would strongly suggest keeping her off your shoulder and away from your ears until she learns to use her beak "responsibly" she is very young and first needs to learn to be gentle before trusting her to your face. Boundaries really need to be set now before she matures further and uses her trust to really injure you. For now I would work with her in your arm or stand and teach her some simple ticks to use whenever you need to distract her. Target training and teaching her to retrieve are both good options. You can also teach her to wave, show her wings, turn around, ect with the goal being to bond in other ways that don't involve cuddling and her beaking you. My Red fronted macaw is very much the boyish youngster and loves to wrestle, it took a long time to teach him to be gentle, but I still don't let him near my face because he loves to grab and play. I know she loves you, just be careful with her demanding your attention.

[weimerheimer]

I'm a big proponent of NOT allowing any pet bird to be perched on your shoulder at any time. I believe your bird should be on your arm/hand 100% of the time. Some on here may disagree with this, but to each their own.

My points being:
- You do not have full control of your bird when it's on top your shoulder.
- Hold the bird on your arm/hand. This gives you full control of the bird. If something should come at you rather quickly, like a dog or another person, while holding the bird on your arm/hand you can use the other hand to place it on the bird's back to protect and offer security to it.
- If the bird were to slip off your shoulder/shirt the birds first reaction is to grab hold of somethig/anything to keep from falling off. That could be your ear, hook the side of your eye, cheek, etc.... In any case .... PAINFUL to you and TREMADIC to the bird from all your screaming and carrying on.

I would start by not allowing the bird to sit on your shoulder. This will eliminate the piching on the ear right away. If the bird takes to pinching your arm, hand, etc .... then I would tell the bird a firm NO, then place him/her on a perch for a little time out. That way the bird knows that by pinching will equates to being separated by my friend/owner because of a bad habit.

Good Luck!

[Blancaej]

You've gotten some great advice already but I will chime in and say that when she does pinch to hard. Say "Gentle" then put her on her perch for a time out. If she knows that any type of pinching will get her no attention, she should stop. I also think there should be no shoulder time until you get this under control. Personally, I would not let my GW on my shoulder and I don't plan to. It's an awfully large beak near my face. Good luck and I hope you can get this under control!

[kendrafitz]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the help. I will continue to put her on her tree if she pinches along with gentle and hopefully that will help. It is a bit confusing bc you read not to give them timeouts but I just didn't know what else to do. I feel better about doing so after reading your posts.

The shoulder thing is interesting. When I got Rosie there was absolutely no shoulder time. Then I brought her to her vet Dr. Doolen who told me I should allow her on my shoulder, as long as she comes off when I tell her to. So that is what we have done to this point, since she comes right down when I tell her to. When she is on my shoulder and we are walking I gently hold the base of her tail so she is somewhat secure. Anyway, I believe until she chills out with the pinching I will keep her off.

Thanks again!

[Rescued]

Another great reason to keep a parrot off the shoulder is that it is impossible to read body language when you can't actually see them.

[kendrafitz]

That us a very good point, rescued.

[Turquoise]

I agree about no shoulder time especially with the big kids. My GCC does get to hang out on my shoulder & she is the only one I allow there sometimes. Even she will try to pick the moles off my neck & I have to wear a jacket or collared shirt to hide them.

My boy Roscoe is in the mood of trying to nip my arm while I am carrying him to his play perch from his enclosure. He knows it is a no-no, but he has an impish side to him, is almost 2 & still tries. Since he is on my arm I move it a bit straight out & tell him no which prevents him from reaching my bicep where he is reaching for. He knows what I mean, but he still tries when he thinks he can get away with it. I will never allow Roscoe on my shoulder & never have since bringing him home at 4 months old. I do kiss his beak sometimes, but I hold the upper part with my fingers & kiss the top part. he knows it is an act of love & I am not being mean or punishing him when I do this when he is in the mood for it.

My Green Wing Ruby Jewel was spoiled by her breeder before I got her home. She allowed her on her shoulder & I had to squelch that notion really quick. She tried to run up my arm every time I picked her up & if I didn't catch it in time, she would run behind my neck & fuss when I took her down. She did learn quickly with gentle removing of her from my shoulder & within 2 weeks of being home she quit trying. She will sometimes think about it, but knows not to.

In a thread on PF awhile back about allowing or not allowing shoulder time I commented that you cannot read body language while the bird is up there like wiemerheimer mentioned. Someone came on & told me in no uncertain terms that she could read body language from her birds by the feel they gave her from their feet. And that I was wrong about it being dangerous if you were bonded to your bird. I left it alone & let this girl live in her own little world. One day if she loses an ear or her nose, I wonder if she will think back on her comment to me?

[plax]

Kendra: Generally speaking, I can't disagree with anything that's been stated here. Each of the points is valid and the recommendation to keep Rosie from perching upon your shoulder is certainly the safest approach. But I will mention that every bird is behaviorally unique. Some are pinchy; some are not. Some are cuddly; others aren't. Some birds simply have a gentle attitude toward their human caregivers, whereas others... not so much. I personally feel that the boundaries we set for our birds should be determined on a case-by-case basis. Some important variables include: the particulars of a bird/caregiver relationship, the overall experience of the caregiver, the time the bird has lived with the caregiver, and the bird's specific behavioral proclivities. These things can be very different from situation to situation.

In my case (with my four guys), I maintain a separate and appropriate boundary set for each bird. For example, Zaf is a dream on my shoulder. But he's been with me for 8 years, our relationship is phenomenal, and I know him exceptionally well. I'm aware of exactly what startles him and how he reacts to sudden feelings of terror. I know precisely where his submission points lie. I simply possess the knowledge of how Zaf behaves in nearly every mental/emotional state. And I might add that Zaf is the most gentle parrot I have ever known. Then there's Jack. He's as well a very trustworthy shoulder parrot. I've had him for 32 years and, needless to say, I know him extremely well. Now as far as Maynard and Salsa go... all bets are off.

Maynard is cage aggressive and emotionally unpredictable in general. He will certainly bite, depending upon his mood and what's going on around him. Salsa is just friendly and playful. He doesn't have a mean or aggressive bone in his body, but he's playfully abrupt and pinches sometimes. Salsa is not allowed on my shoulder, although he very much wants to be there. With Sals I have to pay extra attention because if ever I turn my back to him and I'm within 3 feet of his perching location, he will literally leap onto my shoulder. He never misses and he doesn't like to step off once he's there. He will step off though if I raise my voice a bit and firmly tell him to step back onto his perch. Salsa is the kind of bird who would pinch my ear simply because he felt like it. That has never happened, however, since I don't allow him to perch on my shoulder.

As for Rosie's pinching and your consequential timeouts... if you're consistent and she responds favorably (after she's had adequate time to learn the ropes), by all means stick with the practice. Using the diversion techniques in conjunction with the timeouts is a good option as well. After a while you'll know whether or not it's working.

I'll hope to hear about Rosie's positive progress sometime soon. Best of luck :)

[weimerheimer]

Maynard is cage aggressive and emotionally unpredictable in general. He will certainly bite, depending upon his mood and what's going on around him.


Hahahahaha .... must be the general Military Macaw temperment???

I can relate dearly ..... love my "Sarge" with all my heart, BUT know his body language and RESPECT his space and limitations.

[Blancaej]

I think Tony made a good point that each bird is different. I allow Quincy on my shoulder but I've had him 13 years and like Tony with Zaf, I know what will startle him and how he reacts. Savannah may end up on my shoulder one day because she is super gentle and sweet. There are no plans of that any time soon like I said in my first post. Because I don't know her well enough to trust her up there! All in all, it's an individual choice. So do what you are comfortable with. Hope you can get the pinches to subside in either case!. :th_biggrin:

[kendrafitz]

Thanks everyone! Besides this new pinching game Rosie is great. I don't want to give my poor baby a bad rap. ;)

I can do anything with her (except put a harness on her). She is very trusting and good with ME. She will let other family members play with her and carry her but if I am around then it is just me she wants. I wouldn't trust her on anyone else's shoulder. But she is still a baby and I get the point that it is a risk. And certainly the pinching game needs to be ended. So Rosie and I will work on that before I make a decision about anything else.

[Blancaej]

Sounds like a good plan. ;)

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[Macawfancy]

What great advice from everyone about your Rosie. In my experience, birds really love to perch high and Rosie is very young and learning how to use her beak. Safety for both you and Rosie is so important and consider habits are difficult to break. What actions Rosie has today may be very different from later and even if she is trained to not harm. you just never know what fear can cause her to hurt you and not by any planned attack but just out of instinct. A thought for the future, Rosie is very young and a great age to train not to be on your shoulder. At "nesting" age every macaw has different response actions and can hurt especially when they consider you their mate.