Being the OTHER syndrome!

[josiesdad]

Ok some of you know me from my "odd" take on what I sometimes refer to as being the OTHER in our birds family. That is to say I jokingly try to convey what life is like with a "companion bird" who is over bonded to the love of my life. It is Josie-Mommy- and the OTHER. lol I have never been a Macaw kind of guy..... and I was here first so it can be a little maddening! Not to say I don't appreciate all the things that a companion bird has to offer. I just never could seem to bond to something which would kill me if it were big enough ( something my father used to say about cats). I have always been a dog kind of guy.
I have learned so much at this forum, in a short time. Through your words I have seen the wonder and joy these birds bring when we share our lives with them. It has helped greatly. But simply said I am stuck being the OTHER. As the OTHER I have chosen to share my life with a woman who has a perpetual 4 year old who resents my very existence! She also delights in antagonizing me as often as she can. Indirectly Josie will dictate the direction of the rest of my life. At first it was overwhelming and not just a little frustrating, but trying to be a good sport I put my head down and kept trying. When it became clear that Josie was completely bonded to Anita and saw me as a threat I decided to fight back. I do this by finding humor in everything Josie does (no matter how aggravating). I have taken the pictures, made YouTube submissions and risk injury to help out on almost a daily basis. I sometimes feel a little like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football, but I always try to "find the funny". So to all you who have companion birds and the OTHER you share your life with. Give us a hug (pity us for not being able to fully appreciate your avian passion) and try to keep in mind that we (in many cases) silently support your passion for no other reason than we love you "are bonded to you" and want to see you happy. Try to see your life through the OTHERS eye's.

[Honesty]

:thanks4sharingthumb This Ben. It has made a very interesting read :) Good on you for persevering with Josie! Who knows, maybe one day she will surprise you :)

[Rescued]

This actually made me cry, my OTHER is so good about my KIDS, and we have a bunch, I know it hurts his feelings that pretty much every animal in the house, and outside, prefers me. He still loves them, cares for them, and only occasionally makes smart comments. The cat is the only one who seems equally ambivalent to both of us. He is such a good person that he not only supports the critters, but when I'm showing he pulls double duty taking care of the herd without a single complaint. This might not seem like a big deal, but he gets up at 3:30 am and doesn''t get to bed until after 11 so that all the animals get time out and get cared for. Thank goodness for OTHERS!

[Debra]

I, too, appreciate your post. Out of all of my birds, I am the "OTHER" to one of them. She is bonded to my hubby and he to her. I jealously look in on their relationship from afar, but am also glad that out of all the animals/birds we have, he has one to call him "dad" (although she'd rather call him "lover", but that's another story).

[Pinkbirdy]

This Is how I got "BIRD FEVER" . I used to be the [OTHER} :) Max the African grey loved Dave and only Dave . I got this bright idea I wanted my own bird that I could interact with. So look at things now im obsessed!! Im the bird person now :) Moral to my story - get your own bird :) Join the club !!

[Pinkbirdy]

Oh and Ps [Max likes me now] :) So don't give up hope:)

[ShellyBorg]

Never give up hope that Josie will come around. My TAG Spirit HATES men. He was abused by them and we are sure it was a guy who cut the upper part of his beak off. BUT my best friend who lived with me for the last 2 years tried everyday to make friends and to show Spirit that not all guys are bad. He moved out a month ago and when he came back this last weekend Spirit demanded that he sat near his cage and let Bruce pet his head and beak through the bars! Now when Spirit decided that was enough he did make a half hearted lung at Bruce,but with lots of warning. This was huge and Bruce new it. He even told me that if anything happened to me he would take Spirit. There is always hope with enough work.

[Mare]

My husband feels a lot like you, Ben, but I would not cut him loose on this forum to tell his side! Holy Moly! Life as we know it, on this forum, would not be the same as it is now! He can exaggerate the horror stories into movies! We won't go there, ok?
My hubby is the "other" with Amigo but I am the "other" with Sassy. :). We both love these birds and God knows they can be challenging, for all. There is always hope, like Shelly pointed out and we never give up!

[Mare]

Being, "the other", is not a good feeling, at all! I find that when The Sassy Goffin's accepts me, all is well in my world! :) for the moment!

[Turquoise]

I too have one of those~~'The Other'~~. All my birds consider my hubby Jerry to be a menace to their very existence. My Roscoe will lunge at him if he gets close enough to his play perch, but will eagerly take food from him when it is offered almost resorting in begging. Given that Roscoe hates the very ground Jerry stands on & has no earthly valid reason other than he does not want to share me, it does behoove me that if I hide around the corner where Roscoe can't see me, Jerry can pick him up and take him to his perch. He is quick to get off his arm & ready to bite him for the pleasure. Gratitude at its finest!

Miss Ruby Jewel gave Jerry false hope that finally he had a bird that liked him & he could spend time with. Once she decided I was 'The One', she quickly joined the ranks with Roscoe in plotting against 'The Other'. Oh how Jerry's ego of short lived success was deflated by her wanton ways. He decided he didn't like the little trollop any better than he liked Roscoe & knew they were scheming against him daily.

Angel likes to tease Jerry. He can coax him out on his play perch with his favorite treat and get him to climb aboard to be wheeled to my computer area. So, I told Jerry one day to ask him for a scritch and to go slowly behind his neck as he asked in a sweet soft voice. Yep, you guessed it, the tease unceremoniously bit him & snatched the treat he was offering right before his watering eyes.

Leyla Belle, The Diva doesn't like anyone very well, but I can pick her up from the floor. Jerry failed her test also and she will come looking for me if he tries to pick her up. What can I say, she lives up to her name as a Diva!

Sweet little Peta is the only one who will most of the time allow Jerry to pick her up and will sit on his shoulder. She was touted as a man hater, but she does love him when she is in the mood.

So, yes Dear Ben, you do have soldiers amongst your ranks who share in your war wounds of being 'The Other' and having to daily fight off a menacing beak & clawed 'Knight in Shining Armour' who vies for your Lady's Love. :th_biggrin:

[josiesdad]

I was really at my wit's end but Anita is the most instinctive and natural bird person I have ever seen. So I will be content to see her content. Besides the DOG likes me better :th_chickendance:
I too have one of those~~'The Other'~~. All my birds consider my hubby Jerry to be a menace to their very existence. My Roscoe will lunge at him if he gets close enough to his play perch, but will eagerly take food from him when it is offered almost resorting in begging. Given that Roscoe hates the very ground Jerry stands on & has no earthly valid reason other than he does not want to share me, it does behoove me that if I hide around the corner where Roscoe can't see me, Jerry can pick him up and take him to his perch. He is quick to get off his arm & ready to bite him for the pleasure. Gratitude at its finest!

Miss Ruby Jewel gave Jerry false hope that finally he had a bird that liked him & he could spend time with. Once she decided I was 'The One', she quickly joined the ranks with Roscoe in plotting against 'The Other'. Oh how Jerry's ego of short lived success was deflated by her wanton ways. He decided he didn't like the little trollop any better than he liked Roscoe & knew they were scheming against him daily.

Angel likes to tease Jerry. He can coax him out on his play perch with his favorite treat and get him to climb aboard to be wheeled to my computer area. So, I told Jerry one day to ask him for a scritch and to go slowly behind his neck as he asked in a sweet soft voice. Yep, you guessed it, the tease unceremoniously bit him & snatched the treat he was offering right before his watering eyes.

Leyla Belle, The Diva doesn't like anyone very well, but I can pick her up from the floor. Jerry failed her test also and she will come looking for me if he tries to pick her up. What can I say, she lives up to her name as a Diva!

Sweet little Peta is the only one who will most of the time allow Jerry to pick her up and will sit on his shoulder. She was touted as a man hater, but she does love him when she is in the mood.

So, yes Dear Ben, you do have soldiers amongst your ranks who share in your war wounds of being 'The Other' and having to daily fight off a menacing beak & clawed 'Knight in Shining Armour' who vies for your Lady's Love. :th_biggrin:

[Blancaej]

My husband can definitely relate to being "the other". He thinks Quincy despises' him, which he probably does. But Brad really doesn't want to be "the one" either. He just wants to be able to handle the birds and not be bitten. The good news is, Brad was able to get Savannah out of her cage the last two days on the stick. So at least he is making progress with Savannah. I don't think it will ever happen with Quincy! LOL.

I love my husband for supporting my love of birds and putting up with the time it takes away from spending time with him. Thank goodness we have supportive loved ones so we can all continue to love and enjoy our fids!